when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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