is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
