It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Randomize
