my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize