so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
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