Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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