Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
barbara walters just said penis...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
