Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
