hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
