I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
