She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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