# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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