My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
