I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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