Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
