Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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