I'm drive I can fine osifer
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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