Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
