drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
