Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
