he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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