I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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