hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
