Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
