I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
