I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
is that a dick in a sweater?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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