I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
