I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
