how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Girls should come with a carfax report
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
