hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize