normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
