But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
