im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
