i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
