So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
