As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
