She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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