Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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