i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
