maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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