is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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