Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
