Three words: puerto rican gang bang
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
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