don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
