I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
