I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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