i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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