At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
