You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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