Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize