Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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