just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Still dying that you shit outside
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Randomize
