Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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