Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
