In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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