In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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