Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Holy sore nipples Batman
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
