So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Randomize
