I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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