yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
