I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
