dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
