I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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