I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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